Accepting God's contest

The endeavor of my Ministry is facing one problem, & that's the plight of man enacted through God. This plight dictates that anything can happen. In fact it will in someway. The Earth itself tries to kill us, let alone the needs of any man or woman in our Civilization. Dealing with the hostile nature of things is too much for me to bear right now. However I know that in time it will become insignificant. However my relations with God are severely damaged. God is terrible. I believe that's what the Bible says His nature is in respect to evil, imperfection, or otherwise just plain agony & anguish. He is a "terrible" God. If this was an act & not an experience then I would have to excuse God for His terrible nature. But in a matter of weeks that'll be over, & I'll be in tip top shape.
          The act now is to firstly start some publicity based webpages. That is one of the few acts of professionalization. Just because there isn't many doesn't mean that they are easy. They can be easy however they can also be hard. What I can say is that this will be relatively effortless in practice, but it'll be challenging for quite some time. Lets say about a month. When I begin to initiate the full extent of what I have in mind I don't know. I got a couple of weeks before nothing bothers me. As the only thing in my way right now is the fate that God's given me. Chances are it'll be next week. I say such a thing because I have trained in abject poverty. I have been virtually destitute. After awhile things just don't get to you. However with such depravity you'd expect that the finger at God would be the biggest part. Well the benefit to such religious observance is that that's the only thing that will bother you at the end of an experience only a Spartan would have.
            All in all, & in conclusion, I have complete mastery here as an able bodied individual. Something I have to try & explain later the best that I can is that my fund raising campaign is far in the future. Such a feat however has as many contingencies & contributions as it can get. I will have to start from the bottom of the ladder & then climb my way up. Which is actually refreshing as having only one avenue for Ministerial fruition is dooming. You should be able to make a ship with a Swiss army knife.