Assessment. November 30th, 2021

 I just slept perfectly for 2 months and X-weeks. That's extremely good to report. I didn't sleep too much, I didn't sleep too little. I used to wake up at 4 in the morning after falling asleep at midnight, which was artificial. I couldn't lay down and rest because I'd assuredly fall asleep. So I sat erect all day. But that was an artificial sleep routine. Now I'm getting the doctor-recommended amount of sleep. Which they changed from 8 hours every day at the same times to 7-8-9 hours of sleep on average and 10 or more occasionally. I just did that for 3 months. I'm still doing it. I just went 2 1/2 months on 8 hours a day, now I'm getting 12 or more on the basis of the last 7 days. Get some rest. It always happens this way, ultimately. Other instances may seem different, but they are, in fact, the same thing.

Things are really quite simple. I can't fulfill them yet, though. Complete your responsibilities and complete your book. I don't want to do that for some reason. If only I did. Although praying to God to do dishes is odd. I've chosen my stand to be at my Dad's house. Officials criticized me for that, but for the first 8 years, it was appropriate. I needed some help. When I tried to move out, they told me that I needed to work to be independent. Which is bullshit. Social Security doesn't work that way, but it's how the caregiver's system is set up. They're told to get everyone back to work. So I had to go to work. Anyway, my Dad did make it up to me. Another reason I didn't get my own place is because my Dad wanted my help. Well, that shouldn't matter. But it did. Like I said, my Dad's made it up to me. It infuriated me at ages 26, 27, and 28. A few years. That's a long time. I was in jail for one of those years.

But I've chosen my stand at my Dad's house. Everyone makes a stand when they're an adult. You have to do certain things, and that's all. There's no debate to be had. I dug in at my Dad's, and I never really minded it. I've lived with my Dad now for 14 1/2 years. It hasn't bothered me that much. For a few years, I got fed up. People usually wouldn't have that experience. They'd be fed up from day one. Separately, it's a fortification. I have all of this shit I have to do, which has primarily been my ministry, and I've had shelter at my Dad's. It used to be a fort, and now it's a fortress. Really barely survived things. Now basically, everything is taken care of.

If I just fulfilled my responsibilities and wrote my book, everything would be thriving.